Getting Back to the Me I Want to Be!

I'm baaaaaccckkk!!!! I am starting a new journey to health and fitness and I decided that one way to keep myself accountable, and to be able to see my progress, was to continue with this blog. It really does help me to share my thoughts and feelings, my successes and failures. Im sure there will be ups and downs and I will struggle at times, but I have every confidence that this will be it. This will be my final journey back to being a happier and healthier me. Once I get there, I plan on staying there for the rest of my life. Im tired of this yo-yo dieting. And im tired of loving myself for awhile but hating myself for longer. So, here goes....
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Day 2: I have been so horrible to my body these last few months, and I am now living with the aftermath of my terrible choices. Part of it was stress eating, part of it was the holidays (which adds to the stress eating) Part of it was spreading myself out in too many directions. And a lot of it was just not caring anymore. But whatever it was, those are just all excuses that Ive used and its time to stop. This is not the me that I want to be. This is not the body I want to live in. I know it can be so much better...I've seen it! I know that I can feel so much better, both physically and emotionally. When I was at my lowest weight and the best physical shape of my life I felt like I was living on top of the world! I loved feeling that way because I never knew it was possible. But now I do, so there is no reason that I cant get there again. Im the only one stopping me....

Ive struggled over the last year as I slowly let myself go. I stopped running and exercising. I stopped making good food choices. I told myself a little bit wouldn't hurt, but then a little bit became a lot. And the more weight I put back on, the harder it became to have the energy to exercise. And the less I exercised the more I ate. Going out for lunch became a regular weekly (even bi-weekly) habit as well as candy bars or ice cream while being a couch potato in the evenings. My life had become so stressful that I was comforting myself with food and laziness.

That all ends now!! Yesterday I started a 14 day cleanse. Its not the crazy no food, nasty drink concoctions cleanse that  most people think of though. I am eating real food. Real healthy food. Real healthy and satisfying food! I was a little nervous about it going in. I am addicted to sugar and sweets. I love comfort food. These foods are none of those. But these foods are foods that my body needs. I don't need a snickers bar, or chocolates, but I do need foods that will nourish my body, not bog it down. In just one day, I can already feel the difference. Its amazing. and it gives me hope for the next 13 days...and beyond!

I am really going to do this! This time is for real...and FOREVER! I never want to go back down this road, where I am watching myself slowly turn back into the person that I do not like. Being that person affects me in so many more ways than just my weight. It effects my relationships with my family and others. If I cant love myself, how can I let others love me?

And its not that I have to be "skinny" to be loved, but I need to feel healthy and confident about myself. That is who I want to be. And this is the first step! I am looking forward to this journey and where it will take me!

I took the following pictures of myself today...gag!! But, I need to be reminded where I started, and where I do not want to be or ever go back to.

Good bye unhealthy me....may we never meet again!!!