Lose To Cruise | Week One

Well...tomorrow will wrap up week one for me and I am happy to report I’ve done a great job so far!! I won’t have an official loss report until tomorrow but the scale has definitely gone down! 

Some of my non-scale victories this week:

•Going to the gas station one morning but NOT going in for a donut or pop. 

•Staying on track ALL weekend

•Grocery shopping for better/healthier foods AND finding some that actually satisfy my tastebuds! (Apparently I do like Greek yogurt!)

•Tracking all my food in MFP 

•Getting 3 days of cardio (30 minutes each time)

•Going out to dinner with the kids and pre-planning what to order so I was able to stay within my numbers

•Going to Alivia’s cheer banquet and NOT indulging in all the yummy desserts (I did have one bite of her brownie and one miniature Reese’s, but that was it!) 

•Measuring all my food and making sure to stay within my numbers. 

I am seriously so proud of myself this week! It’s been a LONG time since I have gone a whole week and not failed or just plain given up. This is a great sign! I’m sure every day/week won’t be easy or successful but I am excited to give it my best...and my all! 

Lose To Cruise | A New Journey Begins

As much as I hate to admit it....I’ve gained back EVERY pound (and then some) since I started this blog. Sigh. My very first goal was to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday...now I’m coming up on my 40th (6/16/2020)!! I’m mad at myself to some degree for letting all the weight come back but at the same time some of it was just me living and enjoying life. My husband and I enjoy date nights (with yummy food) and buying treats for each other. Some of it was also from the hard days of life, where I comforted myself with food. I know that isn’t the best way to handle things and  I could beat myself up for it all day long, but that doesn’t change anything. Only hard work and determination will!

So, here I am...AGAIN! I will be turning 40 in June and Alivia also graduates high school! Plus...we are going on a cruise!!! So my inspirational title  for my journey this time is, “Lose To Cruise!” That probably sounds silly to most people but I had “30 Before 30” when I lost all that weight for my 30th birthday....there was just something about a “clever” title that kept me going. I’m weird. Haha!

This time I will be using MFP and counting macros (which is basically the breakdown of calories into carbs, fats and proteins...emphasis and getting in the proteins). My friend, Jenn Dana is helping me. She has a program she runs that helps break it all down. She figures out my numbers and gives me ideas. She will also check in on my weekly (or whenever I need her) so this time I have someone I have to be accountable for. Hopefully that helps!!

Today is Day 1! So far, so good. I’ve managed to be aware of what I’m eating (making better choices) logging my meals and I got 30 minutes of cardio in! Also drinking water and have not nor will I have a pop today. It’s a start...

My starting stats are :
Weight 207

Hey...remember me?? I know, it's been awhile. Today ends the first week of a new journey...again lol! I was just reading back through my blog, looking for some inspiration. The first part is very inspiring...I was apparently on top of my game, but then in the following years it seems to go down hill from there. Although, I did dust myself off a few times and try again at least...like I am now! When I started this journey last week, I was actually 5 pounds heavier than I stated in my last post. Yep, that's how well I've been doing...UGH!

So, here I am...AGAIN! I guess that's better than just giving up completely, right? I really, really, really, really, REALLY want to get back down to 140/150 lbs. I just remember feeling so much happier back then...although I know that I still felt "fat" but looking back at pictures, all I can say is, I wish I was that "fat" again haha!

Of course, it seems the older I get the harder it is to lose the weight (and easier to gain)...but I digress.
Andy is trying to lose weight this time too...he's gonna be 40 in May!! So, we have decided to do some meal planning this time. I made him a low-carb breakfast bake for the mornings, and meals for him to take every day. I also prepared meals for myself that way I'm not just wondering around in the kitchen grabbing whatever might sound good at the time, which usually ended up being something that probably helped get me to where I am today.

We are also trying to get in more exercise. We got a monthly membership at the Railway. I am going to try to go at least 3-4 times a week. We started a remodel on our kitchen this past weekend, so Andy might not get to the gym as often, at least this week, but construction is a pretty good workout too lol!

I am going to try to keep up with my blog this time so stay tuned!

Start Date : Feb 20, 2018
Start Weight : 200.02 (that was very painful to type btw)

New Year, New York, New Me

Hello old friend....

I just finished reading through my previous posts looking for some sort of inspiration to get me going on my recent weight loss journey. Tomorrow is my one week weigh in (for the millionth time, sigh). As much as I hate to admit it, I somehow managed to gain back every single pound that I had lost from when I started this blog. I ask myself everyday what has happened in my life that would cause me to do that, and I still can't come up with the answer. Maybe it was laziness? Lack of focus and determination? Maybe I just really like to eat?? Stress? Life? Age? Maybe there isn't just one answer. Maybe it doesn't really matter. The fact is, I gained it all back and this time I am vowing to lose it, for good!

I have a really good reason for wanting to lose it too! I mean other than because I hate being fat and out of shape....I am going to New York this spring with my girls!! I don't want to not want to be in the photos because I'm fat. I don't want to feel terrible about myself because I hate how I look. I don't want to not be able to keep up with them because I'm out of shape. I don't want to not enjoy myself to the fullest because I feel uncomfortable in my own skin! This time it HAS to happen!

That is what brings me back to here. I know I can do this because I already have! I set my mind to it then and there was nothing that could stop me! It shouldn't be any different this time. As I mentioned before, I am one week in. I  joined the local gym this week and went all 5 days they were open! I am pretty proud of that! I also did very well with my eating and water consumption 5/7 days. I am using My Fitness Pal to track my calories.  I also only had pop this weekend when we were out and about. I could've skipped that too, but baby steps people lol!

However, I was a little discouraged this morning when I put on my jeans (Ive worn yoga pants all week...dont judge) and they were still tight. I didn't feel very good about myself when I looked in the mirror. But, I know I didn't put this weight on overnight so it won't come off overnight...although that would be AWESOME, amiright?? Honestly, I was hoping for more of a loss than that, for how hard I feel like I worked this week. And I know my official weigh in isn't until tomorrow, but I didn't workout this weekend and I didn't eat as well as I should have so I doubt I lost anymore. (Started at 195, weight was 192.8 today) One day at a time though, right! 

Start Date: January 9, 2017

Start Weight: 195

Gym Members?

That's right! Andy and I are proud new members to the Endurance Fitness Center in Mt. Pleasant. We've tried the working out at home thing and it never lasts long enough to see any significant results. He had a membership to Planet Fitness but used it a total of 2 times. Yeah, we were big supporters of that place lol!

He talked about joining again and going after work, but that's what he was going to do before. I didn't really feel like giving our money to another gym just because. And I also hated the thought of him not being home 2-3 nights a week (if he actually did go) for dinner. So, I came up with the idea that we would go together. I needed to do something too and I figured this would be the best way to keep each other motivated and accountable.

I am VERY excited about it! I was a little nervous at first, especially since its in a college town (the view is nice though...shhhhhhh) but I think we are finally going to get in shape. We are meeting with a personal trainer this week so I think that will really help. Honestly, I cant wait to see Andy get all buff. I love him no matter what size, but it wont hurt any to have some eye candy teehee ;)

No More Excuses...For Real

So, I stepped on the scale today. It was not a number a wanted to see, but not a number that surprised me. I have been avoiding the scale like the plague for at least a month now. Which, isn't necessarily a bad thing. There was a point where I was weighing myself 2-3 times a day, which led to disappointment and discouragement. But, avoiding it has led to the very same thing. Sometimes I feel like I cant win for losing...literally!
I knew in my heart that the scale would not show me a number that would put a smile on my face though. Not only have I been avoiding the scale, Ive been avoiding healthy choices and exercising...and maybe my feelings a little bit too.

Ive been on an emotional roller coaster over the last few months. I got some devastating news about a friend. I went through some personal health scares myself.  I had my feelings hurt deeply by another, and I have felt unappreciated by my very own family. On top of all that, I am extremely busy! Between sessions, weddings, kids, home life, and my daughters softball games, I don't know which way is up most of the time. I felt like I was constantly juggling a million things at once! And to make it worse, it felt like everybody still wanted more from me, as if I wasn't doing enough.

Then there is...The guilt.
The guilt that my house was in total disarray and I had no spare time to clean.
The guilt that I was always working at the computer.
The guilt that I couldn't keep up with the laundry.
The guilt that I was constantly yelling at my kids.
The guilt that I was so tired by the end of the day I had no desire for my husband.
The guilt that I was eating my emotions.
The guilt that I wasn't making time for me.
The guilt that I had caused the issues between my friend and I.
The guilt that I couldn't do anything to change my friends sad news.
The guilt that there is never enough money to go around.
The guilt that I wasn't spending enough quality time with my kids.
The guilt that I was easily annoyed by my husbands constant need for attention.
The guilt of things that Ive done in the past.
The guilt that Im not strong enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.
The guilt that Im not reaching my goals.
The guilt that I feel so guilty all the time.
The guilt that I was JUST. NOT. ENOUGH!

All of these were weighing me down. Causing me to lose focus. Making feel worthless. Not capable of being who I really am. They made me sad, mad, and hopeless.

Im not over them. I still feel that way.....but TODAY, I am putting them aside. They will no longer be my excuse for not taking care of myself the way that I deserve. I want to be HAPPY. I want to be HEALTHY. And most of all I want to be FREE!

I think by writing it out, getting it off my chest, I can begin to move forward. I don't want to be stuck in this rut forever. I don't want this back and forth struggle. Not just with my weight but with my emotions as well. I know that I am a VERY strong person, but I have weak moments. Everybody does. But, I am BETTER than those excuses and I am STRONGER than those excuses!

My schedule isn't going to change with this 'release of excuses'. My teenager isn't going to quite being disrespectful. Money will still be tight. My house wont be cleaner. The laundry will still be piled up. BUT....I will MAKE time to take care of myself. For MYSELF. For my FAMILY. For HAPPINESS. For HEALTH!

I hope that when I look back at this in one month I will be able to say that I did make changes and that I made progress as well. I hope that I can say I am happier and healthier and that it was worth the struggle, hard work and commitment.

21 Day Fix::Round Two...again

Well, the first week of round two was pretty much like the first week of round one. I didn't give it 100% and the results reflected that. Like Ive said before, I could give 101 excuses but that's all they are and they don't change the facts. So, I just wont even waste time with them lol!

I started round 2 over again yesterday. Its sad to say but the number on the scale was not good. I gained back everything that I had lost the week before. But, I think it was more from the sodium I got from the bad foods I had eaten this weekend...so more of that and not necessarily actual weight. I say this because this morning it was down 2 of the 3 lbs I was up. I ate fairly good yesterday but didn't drink tons of water or workout.

I am so close to my goal that I just have to keep my head in the game, but this week is going to be another tough one to tackle. I have SO much to do and I just feel overwhelmed with all of it, let alone being able to really focus on this. BUT...I cant let that stop me from doing what I know I really want to do. Life will always be crazy so I just need to deal with it lol!

But really...I just want to go back to bed...or back to my vacation ;)